


cliff's edge

by xlightless



Series: the zombie au where everybody dies [2]
Category: B.A.P
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, M/M, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Teenagers, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-03-15
Packaged: 2018-05-26 20:36:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6254959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xlightless/pseuds/xlightless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Let’s sneak out of the city,” Junhong whispers to Jongup. “We'll go exploring.”</p>
<p>Jongup looks less than impressed at the idea.</p>
            </blockquote>





	cliff's edge

“Let’s sneak out of the city,” Junhong whispers to Jongup. “We'll go exploring.”

Jongup looks less than impressed at the idea. He raises an eyebrow as he looks up from one of Junhong’s comic books. “Why?”

Junhong jumps off his bed. Some of the soldiers told him about the things they did when they were his age; sneaking out of the house, going on long drives in the middle of the night. “Live our lives to the fullest! How long do we _really_ have to live?”

Jongup still looks unconvinced. “Not long if Himchan finds out.”

Junhong leans close to Jongup, pressing his palms into Jongup’s knees, and whispers, “He _won’t_ find out if we sneak out.”

“Junhong, no,” Jongup replies, moving Junhong’s hands out of the way.

Junhong crosses his arms above his chest. Jongup’s _mouth_ says no, but his _eyes_ say maybe. Junhong takes the comic out of Jongup’s hands, a wide smile on his face as Jongup pitches forward to go after it.

“Let’s take a truck out tonight and just drive around,” Junhong whispers. “It’ll be just like in the old movies.”

Jongup stares into Junhong’s eyes, searching for something Junhong can’t put a name on. “Alright, fine.”

Junhong jumps up, pumping his fist into the air. “Yes! Oh my god, what do you think we should do first?”

“Figure out how to sneak the truck past the gate?” Jongup replies, snatching the comic book back from Junhong.

//

In the middle of the night, Junhong manages to find an old forgotten gate (Mokpo is fairly large, and all the gates can’t possibly be monitored even with Himchan’s thorough eye). He urges Jongup through, headlights off, as he holds the gate open. He hops in, triumphant grin on his face, and rolls the windows down.

A warm breeze blows through the truck, and he can smell the salty scent of the sea. He closes his eyes, taking a deep breath.

“Hey, I need you to navigate,” Jongup says, slowing the truck to a crawl. “It’s hella dark out here.”

Junhong opens his eyes, glancing in the side mirror to see the compound’s lights growing farther and dimmer.

“We don’t need navigation. Just let our hearts lead us,” Junhong says. He won’t admit that he heard the line in an American movie, but it sounded cool when he first heard it, and it sounds just as cool now.

Until Jongup begins laughing. “I can barely see a thing out here, Junhong. Seriously.”

Junhong rolls his eyes. He looks in the side mirrors again. The compound is just a little farther away. “I think you can turn on your headlights now. This is a pretty safe distance. We'll just let the road take us wherever.”

When Jongup flips the lights on, they have to squint from the sudden burst of brightness in front of them. Trees line the road. Bushes and weeds grow over the asphalt. Beyond the scope of the headlights is total darkness.

Junhong feels excitement buzz through him. He sticks his hand out of the open window, closing his eyes again as Jongup eases on the accelerator.

//

When they reach a cliff, they can’t even see a thing. They can hear the crashing waves, though. A light breeze blows against Junhong. He sits on the hood of the truck, leaning on the windshield. Jongup gets out of the car and joins him. They sit in silence for a moment, looking up at the stars.

They’ve always been inseparable. Everything they did was as a pair. Junhong likes referring to themselves as twins, and even though Jongup always insists that he’s an entire year older, he never corrects Junhong.

“We should bring food next time,” Junhong says. He gasps and turns to Jongup. “Let’s put blankets and pillows in the back. We'll make a fort.”

“Cute,” Jongup says with a light laugh.

Junhong nudges Jongup’s shoulder with his head, a whine low in his throat.

“Sounds like fun, though.”

//

They return to the cliff the next week, giggling with a plastic bag full of food and a truck bed full of blankets and pillows.

They sit on the truck bed, quiet as the sea crashes below them. The moon is out tonight, and Junhong can see Jongup’s silhouette. 

“Hey, Junhong,” Jongup says, turning his head just slightly.

“What’s up?” Junhong replies, blinking.

Jongup goes through the plastic bag and pulls out a bottle of wine. He smiles, but Junhong can just barely see it. “Look what I got.”

Junhong takes the bottle from Jongup’s hand, feeling the cool glass against his fingertips. “How did you get this?”

Jongup shrugs. “I can’t tell you.”

Junhong huffs, but he doesn’t persist. He tries pulling the cork out as Jongup flips the bag over. Fruits and dried meat packed in foil fall out onto the blankets.

“Hearty meal,” Junhong comments with a laugh. He gives up on the bottle and begins unwrapping the foil.

“This was the only thing I could get without needing a container,” Jongup replies. He takes a bite out of an apple. “Couldn’t open the wine?”

Junhong scoffs. “I wanna see you try to open it.”

“Well, you see,” Jongup starts, taking something else out of the bag. “I came prepared.”

Junhong squints, chewing on the jerky, and realizes Jongup actually brought a corkscrew. He whistles as Jongup takes the bottle in between his legs to hold it still. “I’ll admit, I’m impressed.”

The cork comes out with a satisfying pop, and Junhong claps. Jongup laughs, throwing the cork to the side. “Thanks, I accept any and all tips.” He offers the bottle to Junhong. “You first.”

“Why me?” Junhong asks, but he takes the bottle anyway. It’s heavy in his hands. He puts his lips to the edge, and tips his head back slightly. The wine is sour, and his face scrunches up involuntarily. He shoves the bottle back into Jongup’s hands. “Oh, gross.”

“It can’t be that bad,” Jongup says. He takes a sip of the wine and shivers, the truck shaking at the movement.

Junhong laughs. “I told you!”

“Okay, whatever,” Jongup sighs, taking another bite of his apple.

A few hours later, they’re giggling again as the wine begins to course through their systems. The bottle stands between them, half-empty; they somehow manage to convince themselves that it doesn’t taste _that_ bad.

Warmth explodes on Junhong’s face. His limbs feel like jelly. The stars swim around in the sky.

“Hey, Jongup,” Junhong whispers. He leans into Jongup’s side, feeling the warmth press against him.

“What?” is the reply.

“Jongup, _look_ at me,” Junhong whines, patting Jongup’s arm. He takes Jongup’s face in his hands, pressing his cheeks with his palms.

In the silver moonlight, Junhong can see something in Jongup’s eyes. Something dark. And Junhong isn’t sure if it’s the wine, but he finds himself moving forward, moving too fast for his mind too keep up, until he’s pressing his lips against Jongup’s.

Jongup doesn’t respond. He doesn’t move. He’s like a statue in Junhong’s hands.

Junhong blinks, and suddenly he’s too sober. He lets go of Jongup’s face and scoots to the other side of the truck bed. His stomach does flips. He feels like he’s going to throw up. His ears are ringing.

“Junhong,” Jongup says. His voice is low.

“What,” Junhong replies. His hands are shaking. He curls them into fists, but that doesn’t stop the tremors.

Jongup doesn’t say anything, but Junhong isn’t surprised. Where Junhong is loud and endless chattering, Jongup is silent laughter with few words in between. He moves the bottle to the side, and sits against Junhong’s side, his breath raising goosebumps on Junhong’s arm.

“That was nice, you know,” Jongup says. “We should try it out when we’re sober.”

//

And they do.

They sit in Junhong’s room.

On the truck bed.

In the truck’s cab.

Around corners when no one is looking.

They press lips together, giddy smiles on their faces and eyes closed.

They don’t entirely know what they’re doing, but they’ve seen it done in movies. Jongup stretches up and Junhong leans down, their hands trying to find suitable places to rest. On shoulders. On hips.

They’re too awkward to really go any further, though. They jump apart in a fit of laughter, turning red.

Junhong realizes that loving Jongup is really no different than being his friend. Nothing really changes between them.

And, in a way, Junhong’s relieved.

//

Junhong and Jongup sit in the truck, gasping for breath.

Junhong’s arm stings. He turns on the light, glaring at the bite. Blood oozes out of the tooth-shaped holes.

“Are you okay?” Jongup asks. His voice shakes.

When Junhong looks at Jongup, he sees a similar bite on his leg.

Junhong leans back against the seat. He feels tears prick his eyes. “No.”

“Yeah, me neither,” Jongup says. He gulps.

“We can’t go back to the compound,” Junhong whispers.

“Himchan would kill us before we turn,” Jongup says.

A laugh bubbles from Junhong’s chest. It stings as it rips out of his throat. What would Himchan do? He hopes Himchan won’t mourn too long.

Silence lapses over them. Junhong’s mind buzzes. The bite on his arm throbs. He wipes the tears from his eyes.

“I don’t wanna turn,” Jongup whispers.

“Me neither,” Junhong replies. He looks at Jongup. He can’t read the expression on Jongup’s face.

Jongup suddenly gets out of the truck, and Junhong follows him out. He stops at the cliff’s edge, staring down at the sea below.

“Jongup?” Junhong asks.

Jongup takes Junhong’s hand, his fingers lacing with Junhong’s. His palm is warm. Comforting, almost. “We don’t have anywhere else to go.”

Junhong looks down the cliff, and it looks like an abyss. The waves crash on the rock. He swallows a lump lodged in his throat. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. This is their only option. His grip tightens on Jongup’s hand.

When Junhong looks at Jongup, he’s smiling. He takes Junhong’s shoulders and pulls him down to kiss him. Junhong’s breath hitches. Jongup's smiling, sad and almost regretful, when he pulls away.

They inch to the edge. And then they’re falling.

Jongup’s right beside Junhong, his hand steady in Junhong’s.

When they hit the water’s surface, Junhong feels his breath leave him. He chokes on water as it floods his burning lungs.

He feels Jongup’s hand slip from his.

//

Junhong opens his eyes to bright sunlight, an aching back, and a speckled ceiling. He turns his head and sees Himchan sitting in a chair. He holds a couple papers in his lap, his mouth moving as he mutters to himself.

“Himchan?” Junhong croaks.

Himchan’s head whips up. His eyes are bloodshot. He puts the papers on the side table and scrubs his face. He slumps in his seat, groaning, his hands covering his face. “Oh, thank god.”

Guilt floods Junhong’s mind. “What happened?”

“We found you passed out on the beach,” Himchan says, his voice a little muffled. “You were barely breathing. We thought you weren’t going to make it.”

Junhong remembers. Jongup. Falling. Drowning. Gripping Jongup’s hand until he couldn’t anymore.

“Where’s Jongup?” Junhong asks. But he knows the answer already. They were both bitten.

Himchan doesn’t reply. For the first time, he looks uncertain. “We…couldn’t find him.”

Something heavy presses against Junhong’s chest. A sob erupts from his mouth as he struggles for breath. He feels like he’s drowning all over again.

He knows this was his fault.

//

When the runners from Yeosu walk into Junhong’s room, Junhong almost drops the Rubik’s cube in his hands. Lying upside-down on the bed, he thinks he sees Jongup in one of them.

But… His eyes are sharper than Jongup’s. His limbs not as graceful as Jongup’s. His mouth thicker than Jongup’s. His face a little slimmer than Jongup’s.

“It was nice meeting you, Junhong. I hope we’ll be able to get along in the coming weeks,” he says.

Junhong smiles, out of habit more than anything. He’s just seeing things. This man is nothing like Jongup.

**Author's Note:**

> i really don't know how to write jongup as well as the other members. i should write him more often
> 
> (sorry again about the character death)


End file.
